I would like to open this topic by posing the question: When is it okay to end what should be an eternal covenant of union (marriage) through divorce?...and a related question: What constitutes adultery?
I have thoughts regarding this issue as I have recently wrestled with the decision, and I am certainly willing to share these thoughts, but would like to hear from others. How does one who greatly values discipleship approach divorce?
What is adultery?
For a disciple, the only plausible or acceptable grounds for divorce is adultery. This naturally begs the question: what is adultery? I believe that to fully recognize the breadth of adultery, one first must consider the covenant agreement which is the context for understanding adultery. Marriage is, after all, a covenant agreement of union...in which a man and a woman form a covenant to become no longer two separate individuals, but one.
The marriage covenant is a special form of the ancient covenant agreement. The ancient practice is not merely a contract, but is an eternal commitment sealed by blood, the life force of all beings. This ancient practice typically had the parties to the agreement to cut their hands or fingers so that they could allow their blood to co-mingle. This union of the life forces created a new life which they now shared as it has replaced the former individual life force. The scar that resulted from the cutting of the flesh remained as a reminder of the covenant vow. Today, the marriage covenant has replaced the scarring of the flesh with the wedding bands, yet the eternal commitment of oneness remains the central feature of the covenant.
Of course, sexual infidelity is a grave violation of the marriage covenant, but adultery is not so narrowly defined that it is only applicable to sexual situations. In fact, adultery is any act that adulterates the covenant - any act that diminishes, lessens or causes the covenant of oneness to become impure. Adultery is an act that dishonors or displaces oneness with one's covenant partner for an allegiance or devotion to something or someone else and thus reveals the covenant of oneness as not genuine.
The adultery of which Israel was guilty included its allegiance to foreign nations, as well as the people's adoption of foreign gods. In today's culture, adultery in marriages could likewise include devotion to "things" alien to the marriage, such as money, drugs or behavior reprehensible and contrary to the character of the union.
In my reading of Scripture, I fail to see where adultery is limited to strictly situations of sexual infidelity. I would welcome your feedback and comments.